I have tried 3 times to write this blog post. What can I say? Andrew has come a long way since his original diagnosis but has a very very long way to go. He is on day 23of his marathon back to wholeness. I am navigating a new way of relating to him as we figure out the nature of his brain injury.
Sarah is still experiencing complications from the appendicitis and is still in the hospital. She is on day 15. They have changed the antibiotic again as they have found e-coli that is resistant to the previous one. She was supposed to be home today but that has been put off. Her lungs are still an issue as well as her body is becoming malnourished due to her inability to eat properly.
I am not sure one moment to the next if I will be able to keep moving forward but so far I have found the strength to do so. Some moments, I am filled with gratitude and others, I am frustrated beyond comprehension. I am not sure where I thought I would be at this point in the journey so I can't really be disappointed in the progress. Still, I would rather not be on this road at all.
I can't say I am any closer to the Lord...but I am not farther away, either. I do think, however, He is closer to me. Does that even make sense? But that's how it feels. I haven't made any attempts to figure out His Purpose or His Plan. I know He must have one but it doesn't matter to me right now. If He chooses to let me in on it, I will be grateful but I don't have the energy or emotional fortitude to go there any time soon.
This post didn't turn out the way I thought it would. I had hoped that by the end of it I would have come to some "happy" conclusion. Instead, it turned out to be a little more honest than I had intended.
If you have stuck with me this far, thank you. Things will get cheerier, I promise.
5 months ago