Monday, July 18, 2011

Beginnings, Endings, and Beginning Again

My daughter moved out this past weekend. She has a wonderful little one bedroom apartment only 10 blocks away from our home. She turned 18 in January and graduated from High School in June. As my oldest child, she has that confident first born thing going for her!

As I was helping her move from our house into her new place, I couldn't help but consider how we had arrived at this place. Our story, of being mother and daughter, could have been very different.

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I was 20 and single and had just found out I was pregnant. I knew that I was completely unprepared and unqualifed to bring this little one into the world. And yet, there I was. I knew the statistics on single motherhood. I knew that I faced a monumental task.

I could not fathom facing the realities of life and single motherhood alone. I understood - instinctually, I think - that it was one thing to make bad decisions that ruined my life. It was another thing entirely to make bad decisions that ruined my child's. Thankfully, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could not do it without the Lord's hand of mercy in my life - as well as in the life of my unborn child. And so, as so many of us do in a time of crisis of our own making, I cried out to the Lord and asked, begged rather, that He help me.

And, just as He has promised all of us in his Word, He heard my cry and answered. I loved this baby I was going to be a motherto. And my Heavenly Father, loved her even more.

Deuteronomy 10:18 says "he defends the cause of the fatherless". I knew I had to trust His word in this. I don't know how - but He worked that trust into my heart, one heart beat at a time.

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Watching that little girl load all her earthly possessions into our truck, words cannot adequately explain the emotions of the moment. There was a sacredness to them. It seemed as though God himself was whispering into my heart things meant only to be shared between the two of us.

He proved Himself to be, once again, my Salvation. I marvel at the depth and breadth and height of His Everlasting Love. And I am eternally grateful.

2 comments:

ET @ Titus2:3-5 said...

This is beautiful. i'm so glad you couldn't sleep. ;)

Heather said...

I love listening to you - in person or in type. I always feel like I have so much to learn from you!

Thanks for sharing, Deb! May your new beginning be fantastic!! -xoxox-