When I was trying to fall asleep last night, I had the perfect blog post formulated! It was witty and insightful. It was thought-provoking. But for the life of me now, in the cold light of day, I can't remember a word of it.
I wish I could say this has happened to me only once. But sadly, it is a common occurrence. A friend has told me to carry a note book to write down these ideas whenever genius(her word, not mine)strikes. Unfortunately, said genius never strikes while I am in possession of a piece of paper and pen - or near my computer for that matter. I would call it "writers block" but that might imply that I consider myself a writer!
And so, here I sit at my computer trying to put another paragraph together to wrap this up. The phone rang...it is the eye doctor. Caleb's glasses are in. I need to order myself a new pair as well. Oh, and I have to go and pick up that flute at the music store. Gotta remember to call the bank, too. Maybe I should make chili for supper. With rice or biscuits, not sure. Oh, but I don't have any flour for biscuits maybe I should go to the grocery store...
ohhh...I think I've found my problem.
At night, once that light is turned off and the day is put to bed, I can finally hear myself think. Thoughts that just flirted with my conscience mind during the day, but remained "un-thought", come to the forefront. I have a chance to think through and pray over those things. Clarity comes to me in those quiet moments before blessed sleep arrives.
Unfortunately, for me that quietness only happens at night. I don't think that is a good thing. Days are filled with the "tyranny of the urgent" that only has 18 hours to be accomplished in and there is no time for quiet reflection.
And if there is no time for my own thoughts, you can be sure that there is no time to hear the thoughts the Lord has for me.
Those are the thoughts that really matter. His thoughts, informing my thoughts. Bringing me into intimacy and relationship with Him as I learn to think His thoughts...
I think I'll wrap this blog up and go take some quiet time to be with Him...I am sure you won't mind.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Beginnings, Endings, and Beginning Again
My daughter moved out this past weekend. She has a wonderful little one bedroom apartment only 10 blocks away from our home. She turned 18 in January and graduated from High School in June. As my oldest child, she has that confident first born thing going for her!
As I was helping her move from our house into her new place, I couldn't help but consider how we had arrived at this place. Our story, of being mother and daughter, could have been very different.
__________
I was 20 and single and had just found out I was pregnant. I knew that I was completely unprepared and unqualifed to bring this little one into the world. And yet, there I was. I knew the statistics on single motherhood. I knew that I faced a monumental task.
I could not fathom facing the realities of life and single motherhood alone. I understood - instinctually, I think - that it was one thing to make bad decisions that ruined my life. It was another thing entirely to make bad decisions that ruined my child's. Thankfully, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could not do it without the Lord's hand of mercy in my life - as well as in the life of my unborn child. And so, as so many of us do in a time of crisis of our own making, I cried out to the Lord and asked, begged rather, that He help me.
And, just as He has promised all of us in his Word, He heard my cry and answered. I loved this baby I was going to be a motherto. And my Heavenly Father, loved her even more.
Deuteronomy 10:18 says "he defends the cause of the fatherless". I knew I had to trust His word in this. I don't know how - but He worked that trust into my heart, one heart beat at a time.
_________
Watching that little girl load all her earthly possessions into our truck, words cannot adequately explain the emotions of the moment. There was a sacredness to them. It seemed as though God himself was whispering into my heart things meant only to be shared between the two of us.
He proved Himself to be, once again, my Salvation. I marvel at the depth and breadth and height of His Everlasting Love. And I am eternally grateful.
As I was helping her move from our house into her new place, I couldn't help but consider how we had arrived at this place. Our story, of being mother and daughter, could have been very different.
__________
I was 20 and single and had just found out I was pregnant. I knew that I was completely unprepared and unqualifed to bring this little one into the world. And yet, there I was. I knew the statistics on single motherhood. I knew that I faced a monumental task.
I could not fathom facing the realities of life and single motherhood alone. I understood - instinctually, I think - that it was one thing to make bad decisions that ruined my life. It was another thing entirely to make bad decisions that ruined my child's. Thankfully, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could not do it without the Lord's hand of mercy in my life - as well as in the life of my unborn child. And so, as so many of us do in a time of crisis of our own making, I cried out to the Lord and asked, begged rather, that He help me.
And, just as He has promised all of us in his Word, He heard my cry and answered. I loved this baby I was going to be a motherto. And my Heavenly Father, loved her even more.
Deuteronomy 10:18 says "he defends the cause of the fatherless". I knew I had to trust His word in this. I don't know how - but He worked that trust into my heart, one heart beat at a time.
_________
Watching that little girl load all her earthly possessions into our truck, words cannot adequately explain the emotions of the moment. There was a sacredness to them. It seemed as though God himself was whispering into my heart things meant only to be shared between the two of us.
He proved Himself to be, once again, my Salvation. I marvel at the depth and breadth and height of His Everlasting Love. And I am eternally grateful.
Labels:
mothers and daughters,
moving,
single motherhood
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Sharing the Story
When the followers and disciples realized that Jesus had been raised from the dead...when they suddenly understood the magnitude and incredible ramifications of a Risen Messiah...when they were equipped with the filling of the Holy Spirit...the world as they knew it was forever changed.
They had a "testimony". Something had happening in their lives and they shared it with others. It was so amazing that they couldn't help but share it. They HAD to tell it. They were compelled beyond their fears and weaknesses. They faced indifference, apathy and mockery by those who thought they were just drunk or crazy or both. (I am sure they wondered at times if they were, in fact, crazy!) They faced humiliation and disgrace from their family and friends. They faced physical "mistreatment" to the point of horrific deaths.
So why keep telling this story? Because these men and women were fueled by what they knew to be true. They set out to tell the world about a man who was born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, worked miracles beyond belief and was then crucified. And just to make it even less "believeable" - This man rose from the dead on the third day, stayed around for 40 more days doing more miracles, and then acsended into heaven promising to return again one day to take us to a place He was going to prepare for us.
And they had seen it all with their own eyes. They weren't making it up! It was absolute truth. They kept telling and retelling their story because they knew it would change the lives of others, just as it had changed their lives. And in doing so, they spread the Gospel out into a waiting world that was desperate for some Good News.
It might help to remember that this isn't just a story about what happened 2000 years ago in a country far, far away. It is a story about what happens every day in the lives of believers everywhere. Jesus is alive and active in the lives of all those who claim Him as Lord. His Spirit is, at this very moment, searching for those who do not know Him as Lord yet, so that He can be Their Good News Story.
In Gods story the Good News is this: The dead rise. The lame walk. The blind see. People can change. Failure doesn't disqualify you. Sin nor Satan have the final word in your life. Being lost just means Jesus is out looking for you. You have a place to call Home. Nothing can separate you from the Love of Christ. You can call God Daddy. And when you die, your story doesn't end there.
All this and so much more. There is so much more to tell. So many ways to tell it. If you are one who's life has been changed by the Good News, get out there and share it...and someone who needs a little Good News? Their world may be changed as well.
They had a "testimony". Something had happening in their lives and they shared it with others. It was so amazing that they couldn't help but share it. They HAD to tell it. They were compelled beyond their fears and weaknesses. They faced indifference, apathy and mockery by those who thought they were just drunk or crazy or both. (I am sure they wondered at times if they were, in fact, crazy!) They faced humiliation and disgrace from their family and friends. They faced physical "mistreatment" to the point of horrific deaths.
So why keep telling this story? Because these men and women were fueled by what they knew to be true. They set out to tell the world about a man who was born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, worked miracles beyond belief and was then crucified. And just to make it even less "believeable" - This man rose from the dead on the third day, stayed around for 40 more days doing more miracles, and then acsended into heaven promising to return again one day to take us to a place He was going to prepare for us.
And they had seen it all with their own eyes. They weren't making it up! It was absolute truth. They kept telling and retelling their story because they knew it would change the lives of others, just as it had changed their lives. And in doing so, they spread the Gospel out into a waiting world that was desperate for some Good News.
It might help to remember that this isn't just a story about what happened 2000 years ago in a country far, far away. It is a story about what happens every day in the lives of believers everywhere. Jesus is alive and active in the lives of all those who claim Him as Lord. His Spirit is, at this very moment, searching for those who do not know Him as Lord yet, so that He can be Their Good News Story.
In Gods story the Good News is this: The dead rise. The lame walk. The blind see. People can change. Failure doesn't disqualify you. Sin nor Satan have the final word in your life. Being lost just means Jesus is out looking for you. You have a place to call Home. Nothing can separate you from the Love of Christ. You can call God Daddy. And when you die, your story doesn't end there.
All this and so much more. There is so much more to tell. So many ways to tell it. If you are one who's life has been changed by the Good News, get out there and share it...and someone who needs a little Good News? Their world may be changed as well.
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